Boston Mama

Coping Strategies

Being a grad student and mama is all about learning to cope with a scewed, hyper-intense version of reality. It’s about existing in split time; fast and slow. It’s about keeping my eye on the prize, and trying to figure out how to avoid becoming so exhausted that all I want is to consume carbs and watch How I Met Your Mother on Tivo.

Being a mama and grad student is all about doing things the first time (putting the laundry away immediately after folding it saves time in the end—every time, even if it seems like an enormous pain in the ass in the moment), making soup when all else fails, and getting down on the floor to be tackled by little boys.

It’s a precarious balance.

Here are some coping strategies that have proven their worth:

* When both boys are awake and active, I’ve learned that it pays to drop everything and engage them. I do the laundry, and play peekabo while folding. I also continually wonder what happens to the missing socks.

* I bake cookies often; succumbing to the utter chaos of cookie dough everywhere and devour the grins on my kids faces.

* Segmenting my brain helps: I work whenever uninterrupted time presents itself and then shut off and be present when it becomes impossible to continue working.

* The time spent disconnected and engaged is actually fuel for the time spent working.

* Staying up until 2AM works ONLY if I get adequate sleep (7 hours) the rest of the week. A string of days with only 5 hours of sleep hits hard. That same string of days followed by a 2AM day obliterates me. I become blathering, grouchy, and incompetent.

* To avoid the situation above, I am all over doing work as soon as it is assigned—forcing myself to overcome my natural inclination to slouch until deadline time and then pull all nighters. Occasionally this is still unavoidable. Then everybody in my house has learned to give this woman coffee quickly.

What are some of your coping strategies that help to keep things running smoothly around your house when the going gets rough?