Swimming Lessons
Here is the truth: I was a certified swim instructor for years. I have taught every kind of person to swim: a 2 year old; an elderly woman; a teenage boy who only spoke Chinese; an autistic 4 year old who would sink blithely, fearlessly to the bottom of the pool if I so much as blinked. I was a lifeguard for years. In California. At a water park and at hectic health club pools where kids would do the deadman’s float just to addle my brains.
Simply: I love the water, and I’m good in it. I can tread water for minutes; swim a mile at a reasonable pace; do the butterfly; snap a flip turn; float forever.
But teach my kid to swim: this, somehow I cannot do.
And it makes me crazy.
He’s 5 and 38 pounds of lean muscle and nothing else. He sinks like a brick, and shivers in seconds. His lips turn purple, and oh, he is the most determined little person on the face of the earth.
Determined to do things his own way, that is.
It started last summer, actually. And for weeks I faught him.
“Just lie back. Put your head on my shoulder. Float.”
“You’re superman! YAY!”
“Kick, kick, kick,”
“Blow bubbles! Like this: BPTBPTBPT!”
“FINE THEN. You don’t want my help? Then I’ll just let go and let you figure it out.”
Yep.
Not so pretty.
This year: I went the route of private lessons, with moderate success. He put his head under water for her, and he wouldn’t for me. He kicked when told to kick, some of the time. He floated with assistance. He kind of listened, and he kind of did his own darn thing, and a few hundred bucks later the kid still can’t swim and summer is slipping by.
So I slapped a life vest on him and gave up. And since then things have moved along much more smoothly.
As in: today when we went swimming in our neighbor’s pond I was kicking around in the shallow part with my 18 month old (who is 100% water baby, by the way, and totally loves to float and already assumes perfect swimming posture) my 5 year old decided he was going to do something other than flail about and squeal.
And so he swam across the entire pond and back. Actual semi coordinated movement. Wet faced. HAPPY FACED. In his life vest.
Success?
Sort of. Mostly I think this is a little snapshot of how things will always be between us. A choreography of control and forgiveness and grace and humor. And maybe when it comes down to it him learning to swim is really about me learning to cultivate more forgiveness, grace, and humor in situations that I cannot control.
I’d love to hear your learning to swim stories. Please share.
I love that last paragraph. Eloquent and true…just perfect.
This is so true, in so many areas, not just the swimming! The more you push, the more he will resist! I am happy you decided to let him go at his own pace!!! He will learn eventually! Mine are 9 and 10 and just learned this YEAR!!! xoxo tara
My oldest daughter is a fish. I used to pull her head out of the water and tell her to breathe – she'd stay under so long. My last two sink like stones. The 10 yr old finally learned to swim well last summer, but I gave in and slapped a life vest on the four yr old this year.
I also love swimming, we had a pool in our back yard when I was growing up. My oldest is a beautiful swimmer. Elegant. Talented. But, she doesn't want to swim as a sport, just for fun. Which is fine. The other two ding bats and fine having everyone pull them around. This year, I told them that they were SIX and THEY WOULD LEARN TO SWIM THIS SUMMER. I signed them up, told them they better work hard, threatened them with lessons ALL SUMMER, and that sort of worked. They still are not proficient, but I feel a lot better than I have for a long while. I still think they need more lessons. Next summer.
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